Comedy shows are fun and unlike any other experience in the performing art category. The jokes, upsurd logic that is presented can carry a rhythm and a tone that the comedian puts countless hours behind. Music, poetry, dance and other performing arts share similar traits but stand-up comedy, on its own, is a different animal completely. Stand-up is a constant change of ideas presented with comedic timing and delivery. Most other forms of live entertainment are played or presented at you, where stand-up is all about the satisfaction of the audience. With stand up, gears can be switched if the audience isnt feeling the train of thought the comedian presents which is a huge difference than sitting through a movie you hate or listening to a crappy song until you hear the song you like. A constant battle between artistic integrity and doing your job of getting laughs is internally fought while a comic is on stage. AND YET SOME PEOPLE JUST TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED AND START ANSWERING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS OR THINK IT'S OK TO "HELP THE SHOW."
Hecklers. What can I say that hasnt already been said about dead babies. They stink. Hecklers are everywhere in our lives. The people that interrupt conversations to make a point nobody asked them to make about something off the topic. These self absorbed drones. These vile, sometimes racist, boring story telling, billigerent, unapologizing assholes ruin the laughs other people paid for. The other people, sure they didnt pay to see me but did pay to see PROFESSIONAL COMEDIANS tell jokes.
What really gets me angry are the people that use the safety of society. The confidence of some people when they cant be singled out is through the roof. If comics were selling jokes on the street, these people wouldnt say a word if being confronted one on one. But the illusion is "oh Im just speaking for the crowd". Sometimes I wish the rest of the audience would do what the people on those 9/11 flights should have done and over power these social terrorists. Social Terrorists. Yes that suits these unoriginals fine.
The truth is that stand-up comedy is an after thought for most people. Unlike most medias of entertainment, very few people really enjoy live comedy to their core. Plus anything live, people feel the risk. A risk of maybe these people I paid to be funny arent my kind of funny. I completely understand that logic. A movie they give you previews to hype it up. A band will let you listen to songs before you see them in concert. But a comedy show is a 4D experience because comics are a living, breathing entity feeding the energy of the room or devouring it down. BUT WHEN ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER SHITS ON THE RISK THE REST OF YOU TOOK, WITH YOUR ONE LIFE, I WISH THE REST WOULD TELL THEM TO SHUT THE HELL UP. Again this is just a wish and the actual reality of a situation would be to just rise above it. But being mature, although not fun, is in the long run a better solution to handling jerks.
In closing, I understand that there will always be social terrorism. Some people cant respect the fact the comic on stage didnt just walk off the street but put years into their act. You social terrorists are not original by answering rhetorical questions because chances are some other delusional dick already anwered that same set up on the last show. Ive learned that fighting terrorism with terrorism only ruins it for the people trying to enjoy the show. So this whole thing was for nothing because nothing is going to change. Ive learned how this post is unoriginal. Life is empty means nothing. Bang!
www.gacomic.com
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Captain "Save A Country"
Issues concerning Syria with the civil dispute and the question of the Syrian government using excessive force against rebels is all over the media. Allegations of the Syrian Government using chemical agents to neutralize rebel forces has the U.S. government in an uproar. President Obama has stated that if Syria does not hand over chemical weapons to the U.N., the U.S. will start a military strike on Syria. These statements and support from the major players like Russia and China, "convinced" Syrian President Bashar al-Assad to agree to the terms of relinquishing and destroying the stock pile at the timeline set by the U.N.
With this matter, there is a pattern that I really don't understand. Maybe because I'm not a player in that game but why the hell does the U.S. always have be the first to intervene. I love the country I was born in despite its mistakes. The "freedoms" we experience on a daily basis is a luxury most of us take for granted, but this constant involvement of the U.S. is something that's a little embarrassing.
In this case my small mind can only relate the civil war of Syria with the average domestic violence of a crazy couple in your apartment building. Sure you hear that dude beating the hell out of that lady, but what do you think? "If he keeps beating her, she'll get tired of it and leave." So instead of calling the cops you just play the passive aggressive role of asking them to keep the noise down. What you don't do is arm the lady with a bat for next time they fight. Because if you do, you're only making the situation worse. If the lady doesn't beat him, he might kill her. Thus America aiding Syrian rebels only made the situation worse resulting in over 1400 deaths of the rebel force.
I see the point of disarming Syria from its chemical warfare tactics but did so many people have to die because of the so called "morality" that the U.S. expects but doesn't follow. Syrian officials might even face criminal charges in a world court because of those actions, as they should, but is the U.S. really the one to point out the Syrian mistakes after countless mistakes the U.S. has made over the last 12 years of invading countries based on lies?
I'm like you, I really don't care about what the world comes to, as long as it doesn't come to my door. The issue I have is that why can't our government let other countries work stuff out for themselves? Why do we feel the need to police the world when the U.N. (joke) already has that role. Ive heard alot of my friends say things like, "lets bomb them all" and I'm confused as to why should we even be there.
In my mind, America isn't liked by most of the world. Other countries take our culture as a novelty act and we could really give a shit but there's this pretentious part about it. Like we know we suck culturally but we still do nice things for other people. So the more countries we act like we're helping, we get a piece of what we used to be, back. Personally I don't care if we suck just so long as we aren't a sucker by being "Captain Save a Country."
gacomic.com
With this matter, there is a pattern that I really don't understand. Maybe because I'm not a player in that game but why the hell does the U.S. always have be the first to intervene. I love the country I was born in despite its mistakes. The "freedoms" we experience on a daily basis is a luxury most of us take for granted, but this constant involvement of the U.S. is something that's a little embarrassing.
In this case my small mind can only relate the civil war of Syria with the average domestic violence of a crazy couple in your apartment building. Sure you hear that dude beating the hell out of that lady, but what do you think? "If he keeps beating her, she'll get tired of it and leave." So instead of calling the cops you just play the passive aggressive role of asking them to keep the noise down. What you don't do is arm the lady with a bat for next time they fight. Because if you do, you're only making the situation worse. If the lady doesn't beat him, he might kill her. Thus America aiding Syrian rebels only made the situation worse resulting in over 1400 deaths of the rebel force.
I see the point of disarming Syria from its chemical warfare tactics but did so many people have to die because of the so called "morality" that the U.S. expects but doesn't follow. Syrian officials might even face criminal charges in a world court because of those actions, as they should, but is the U.S. really the one to point out the Syrian mistakes after countless mistakes the U.S. has made over the last 12 years of invading countries based on lies?
I'm like you, I really don't care about what the world comes to, as long as it doesn't come to my door. The issue I have is that why can't our government let other countries work stuff out for themselves? Why do we feel the need to police the world when the U.N. (joke) already has that role. Ive heard alot of my friends say things like, "lets bomb them all" and I'm confused as to why should we even be there.
In my mind, America isn't liked by most of the world. Other countries take our culture as a novelty act and we could really give a shit but there's this pretentious part about it. Like we know we suck culturally but we still do nice things for other people. So the more countries we act like we're helping, we get a piece of what we used to be, back. Personally I don't care if we suck just so long as we aren't a sucker by being "Captain Save a Country."
gacomic.com
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Facebook Witness Protection Program
The age of social media and instant communication has revolutionized our world in what we think is a positive but in reality we just advanced being a stalker or creep. The bonds we break in person also have to be broken in the cyber world. The "Blocks" and "Deletes" we go through can be just as devastating or even more so than the "look we gotta talk" speech and the person may not be ready to let go of all the 9 ways to spy on the person ending the relationship. Sometimes the jerks are ex-lovers of your new love trying to break you guys up. And you may not even know why they are contacting you.
Have You or a Fb friend changed their name and started going by a middle name? If so, You have just entered into what I call Facebook Witness Protection or FBWP for short. Sometimes measures have to be taken when a stalker wont stop the harrassment. Lets run down the steps of FBWP.
The first step is set your account to private. Next, block the parties in question. Now if this jerk is lazy, that normally stops the (take me back or Biatch you Effing him) messages. But if that doesnt work, then you have to move to Phase Two. Phase Two or "Name Change" is initiated when you start receiving messages from profiles with no mutual friends. Make no response to these falsehoods. The (perp), still determined, will be hunting with fake profiles in order to gain location of said "man you Effing" or maybe "why you wont come meet for a drink to just talk about what went wrong". It's also important when you change your name that you leave a post, while still under your real name saying, "some creep wont stop bothering me so I'm deactivating my account," to really throw them off your scent. The name change may be difficult to pull off considering that your friends and family may ask questions but for their safety and yours nothing can be disclosed. In fact cyber communication maybe out of the question for friends/family and you may have to see them in person.
There are some other precautions that go along with entering in the FBWP that must be followed. No "liking" any statuses for the fact, that lowlife maybe still scouring the web for any trace of you. This is where some people have a hard time. The procedure for "liking" statuses from now on is private messages. The new procedure for accepting a friend request is, first you meet in person, then you accept a request. Rather than just going through the suggestions, a face to face meet is crucial to your safety. Also any further attempts to be friended with no mutual friends is to be treated as a threat and automatically blocked.
People never think of the consequences of the bridge they burn. Somehow it never occurs to them the lengths people are willing to spy on peoples lives from a safe distance. The FBWP is real and can help you. Make these psychopaths resort to old fashion ways of stalking, like driving by your house at night or coincidentally running into you everywhere you go.
-Special thanks to Jen-
www.gacomic.com
Have You or a Fb friend changed their name and started going by a middle name? If so, You have just entered into what I call Facebook Witness Protection or FBWP for short. Sometimes measures have to be taken when a stalker wont stop the harrassment. Lets run down the steps of FBWP.
The first step is set your account to private. Next, block the parties in question. Now if this jerk is lazy, that normally stops the (take me back or Biatch you Effing him) messages. But if that doesnt work, then you have to move to Phase Two. Phase Two or "Name Change" is initiated when you start receiving messages from profiles with no mutual friends. Make no response to these falsehoods. The (perp), still determined, will be hunting with fake profiles in order to gain location of said "man you Effing" or maybe "why you wont come meet for a drink to just talk about what went wrong". It's also important when you change your name that you leave a post, while still under your real name saying, "some creep wont stop bothering me so I'm deactivating my account," to really throw them off your scent. The name change may be difficult to pull off considering that your friends and family may ask questions but for their safety and yours nothing can be disclosed. In fact cyber communication maybe out of the question for friends/family and you may have to see them in person.
There are some other precautions that go along with entering in the FBWP that must be followed. No "liking" any statuses for the fact, that lowlife maybe still scouring the web for any trace of you. This is where some people have a hard time. The procedure for "liking" statuses from now on is private messages. The new procedure for accepting a friend request is, first you meet in person, then you accept a request. Rather than just going through the suggestions, a face to face meet is crucial to your safety. Also any further attempts to be friended with no mutual friends is to be treated as a threat and automatically blocked.
People never think of the consequences of the bridge they burn. Somehow it never occurs to them the lengths people are willing to spy on peoples lives from a safe distance. The FBWP is real and can help you. Make these psychopaths resort to old fashion ways of stalking, like driving by your house at night or coincidentally running into you everywhere you go.
-Special thanks to Jen-
www.gacomic.com
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Men Dont Hunt Women!
This struggle for power and respect between men and women only becomes more apparent as I get older. The more women want to be independent the more rights men give them. Sounds like a sexist statement, but its a fact. In America there's never been a civil war or significant blood bath between men and women where women really had to literally fight for their rights. What happens is women will argue the hell out of something until men eventually cave due to the drought of sex and chaos in the home. Women are in power but don't know it, that's why men have tried to keep our thumb on them for so long.
I USED TO THINK men were better than women, because we conquered fire and the whole IPhone thing, but the fact is women are better at psychological warfare. The struggle for power starts when we first meet. Although the female existence is a complete lie, men have to accept. We HAVE to accept it. The lie starts out with women that can't remember their natural hair color, wear jelly pads in their bras, wear fake eye lashes and squeeze into spanx. I'm not saying all woman lie the same but if you own a pair of heels or wear make-up, then you're in this boat. As a man, we have to take you serious even though you look like a badly wrapped christmas present. As a man I have to like, love and get used to being lied to on a regular basis. That's a huge win for women considering we have no choice but to accept you as you are when looking in the bars and grocery stores.
I say looking for women and not hunting because let's face it, men don't hunt women, WOMEN HUNT MEN. That's another reason why women are better than men. Because they have men convinced that we should hunt and pursue them. Fact is, there are more women in this world than men. Why should men hunt if we are the ones going extinct. If men are outnumbered then a woman's selection is limited. How can men hunt if they are the rare species.
How do women hunt? Women hunt by waiting for the prey to come to them. Women are like deer feed. A buck doesn't know he's being judged when he approaches an oasis in the forest. He's too busy being magnificent and showing off his horns. He doesn't know that the vagina rifle is being loaded and a judgment of "can this dumb animal provide for a family of four" or "at least feed me for one night" is in play. All the buck knows is "dam that feed looks delicious." His goal is "I'll just have my fill, thank god for the opportunity, and move on hoping I find some more food." Men go out with a wish for sex and women go out with decision of sex.
(SIDE NOTE : if you're a woman and you're sick to your stomach of the men you keep attracting you're able to hunt better prey. You might have to go to a gym and get in shape because that's what it takes to be a better hunter. And by that I mean, that bad taste in your mouth from not being satisfied because you keep snagging squirrels and possums, thinking its going to sustain, is your lack of hunting skills. A Woman ultimately has the power on what goes into her body for nourishment.)
Men are too stupid to realize the power they have of how rare of a species they are and that's why men lose. Women are better because they make us believe that we have to be worthy enough to be at the dinner table as the main course, which is totally backwards. No other predator on the planet has a prey that volunteers. This new kind of predator is so arrogant that it will even tell the prey "not interested" which means, I'm not liking what you can offer to sustain me physically, emotionally, financially. Mean while the stupid turkey is saying how tasty his meat is and how he has all the fixings (i.e. house, car, career.)
WWW.GACOMIC.COM
I USED TO THINK men were better than women, because we conquered fire and the whole IPhone thing, but the fact is women are better at psychological warfare. The struggle for power starts when we first meet. Although the female existence is a complete lie, men have to accept. We HAVE to accept it. The lie starts out with women that can't remember their natural hair color, wear jelly pads in their bras, wear fake eye lashes and squeeze into spanx. I'm not saying all woman lie the same but if you own a pair of heels or wear make-up, then you're in this boat. As a man, we have to take you serious even though you look like a badly wrapped christmas present. As a man I have to like, love and get used to being lied to on a regular basis. That's a huge win for women considering we have no choice but to accept you as you are when looking in the bars and grocery stores.
I say looking for women and not hunting because let's face it, men don't hunt women, WOMEN HUNT MEN. That's another reason why women are better than men. Because they have men convinced that we should hunt and pursue them. Fact is, there are more women in this world than men. Why should men hunt if we are the ones going extinct. If men are outnumbered then a woman's selection is limited. How can men hunt if they are the rare species.
How do women hunt? Women hunt by waiting for the prey to come to them. Women are like deer feed. A buck doesn't know he's being judged when he approaches an oasis in the forest. He's too busy being magnificent and showing off his horns. He doesn't know that the vagina rifle is being loaded and a judgment of "can this dumb animal provide for a family of four" or "at least feed me for one night" is in play. All the buck knows is "dam that feed looks delicious." His goal is "I'll just have my fill, thank god for the opportunity, and move on hoping I find some more food." Men go out with a wish for sex and women go out with decision of sex.
(SIDE NOTE : if you're a woman and you're sick to your stomach of the men you keep attracting you're able to hunt better prey. You might have to go to a gym and get in shape because that's what it takes to be a better hunter. And by that I mean, that bad taste in your mouth from not being satisfied because you keep snagging squirrels and possums, thinking its going to sustain, is your lack of hunting skills. A Woman ultimately has the power on what goes into her body for nourishment.)
Men are too stupid to realize the power they have of how rare of a species they are and that's why men lose. Women are better because they make us believe that we have to be worthy enough to be at the dinner table as the main course, which is totally backwards. No other predator on the planet has a prey that volunteers. This new kind of predator is so arrogant that it will even tell the prey "not interested" which means, I'm not liking what you can offer to sustain me physically, emotionally, financially. Mean while the stupid turkey is saying how tasty his meat is and how he has all the fixings (i.e. house, car, career.)
WWW.GACOMIC.COM
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Why Do White Girl Teen Idols Always Go Slutty
ITs a fact that if you want to have longevity in "show business" you have to stay relevant. I don't think anyone who ever had a hit single or starred in a great TV series or even a great comedy special, just settled after that. The goal is FOREVER for everybody. The goal is Pryor, the goal is CHEERS, the goal is Marvin Gaye. This can be achieved sometimes by reinventing your image or adding another talent to your repertoire. We've seen this with many stars. Rappers/Singers who act or actors who produce a pop album. This new blurring the lines from singer to entertainer is nothing new or even frowned upon considering that the work to put into one is very difficult. But anyway you can stay relevant is the way to go.
My topic speaks for itself. I typed in "twerk" into YouTube (because I'm a scumbag) and what do I find? Miley Cyrus's music video WE CANT STOP. This example of a young white girl teen idol gone slutty is pretty awesome. Now don't get me wrong its ridiculous and her hair cut stinks and she keeps sticking out her tongue for some reason, but the ass shaking isn't bad. The humping of the bed needs work. When I saw this I wasn't turned on because ,lets face it, Miley Cyrus is awkward in this video. She doesn't make me believe her slutyness as much as Christina Aguilera did when she came out with her debut slutty video DIRRTY. Brittany Spears was even more believable with her crossover skank vids. They both made you believe that inner slut couldn't wait to come out. This Miley Cyrus Vid is embarrassing to the trend of "white girl teen idol turned bad girl who doesn't play by anybody's rules anymore".
Why do white girl teen idols always go slutty? Why not just come out a skank or stay the same like Kelly Clarkson. Why stray from the route you were going? You don't have to be a hoe bag for people to think you're an adult now. I know people change but, come on, from 0-60 just looks like you have something to prove. If its a phase then alright, I get it, you were told to be wholesome and told how to wear your hair. You were told what to say. Fine. But really, slut is the first image you go for when you finally get that freedom that success bestows upon you at a certain level.
Why not go deeper? Why not take a break and gain some life experience so you can write better songs? Assuming you write your own songs. Why not ask your record label you want to go the Alicia Keys route, stuff you can just listen to instead of shaking your ass all the time. People always want to take the easy road to forever.
I guess to wrap this bullshit up. If you're going to go the "I'm a bad girl now and I don't care who knows it" route, just make it believable. Make me feel like those guilty thoughts I had of the 15 year old wholesome persona was a fake because your inner "SKANKARELLA" couldn't wait to come out.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Can you just pretend to give a sh*t?
Listen, if you really don't care to call me and tell me a horrible story or talk about your day or even ask me a question of what's going on, can you please text like you give a shit. Me reading your shitty texts of misspelled words and unnecessary punctuation marks is a drag considering the text is one of the lowest forms of communication created. I'm sick of deciphering modern day hieroglyphics to the point I just copy and resend back.
People used to write letters not too long ago and when you received one you were happy that person took the time to go to the store, buy paper and pens, sit down, write their thoughts, seal it and send it. You felt good, the consideration and effort that person went through just to wait a week if you replied. Why do only prisoners still enjoy that past time? Then the telephone was invented, not as special as the letter, but it brought people together quicker incase of emergency. Then came the invention of computers and emails, and that's when everything started going to shit. And so this new half-ass language emerged and was created to express our wants and needs, our moods and thoughts, our ability to write or type or text as little as possible in order to get our point across.
This bullshit where people type things like "smh", "lmao", "stfu", (etc.) and the emoticon pictures to express how we feel, makes me sick. I think, what a non-caring jackass. If you can't even stand the sound of my voice for 2 minutes, at least show me the respect of complete words. Instead I get this "when r u soon troops comedy club" followed by "not soon, doin". Look you're already saving time by having a conversation that I can't interrupt. You're already cutting out the whole importance of my time because half the stuff I get could have waited until I saw you again in life. Jesus, can you just pretend to give a shit.
And if I hear another idiot talking in that language, I'm going to fucking lose my shit. No self respecting person sees something amazing or horrific and says OMG. You sound like a jerk. Stop being an asshole.
www.gacomic.com
People used to write letters not too long ago and when you received one you were happy that person took the time to go to the store, buy paper and pens, sit down, write their thoughts, seal it and send it. You felt good, the consideration and effort that person went through just to wait a week if you replied. Why do only prisoners still enjoy that past time? Then the telephone was invented, not as special as the letter, but it brought people together quicker incase of emergency. Then came the invention of computers and emails, and that's when everything started going to shit. And so this new half-ass language emerged and was created to express our wants and needs, our moods and thoughts, our ability to write or type or text as little as possible in order to get our point across.
This bullshit where people type things like "smh", "lmao", "stfu", (etc.) and the emoticon pictures to express how we feel, makes me sick. I think, what a non-caring jackass. If you can't even stand the sound of my voice for 2 minutes, at least show me the respect of complete words. Instead I get this "when r u soon troops comedy club" followed by "not soon, doin". Look you're already saving time by having a conversation that I can't interrupt. You're already cutting out the whole importance of my time because half the stuff I get could have waited until I saw you again in life. Jesus, can you just pretend to give a shit.
And if I hear another idiot talking in that language, I'm going to fucking lose my shit. No self respecting person sees something amazing or horrific and says OMG. You sound like a jerk. Stop being an asshole.
www.gacomic.com
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