This new tired, stupid list shit I see on the Internet. People can't help but click and find out shit they already know. From boring facts nobody cares about to when you're going to die. There's a list for if your mate is right for you and there's a list for if your dog is right for you. There are some that you write the list yourself and it tells you which goonie you're most alike. When did this become a thing. The steady slope of stupidity that America is, is as steep as the caveman's forehead. Only cavemen had a progression and in this world of "idiot information" there's a degression of culture and context.
But I'm no different so here it goes,
1. Fight Club is the best movie ever made.
2. Watch any reality T.V.
3. You watch U.F.C. and think if you had time to train.
4. Think ISIS has a point.
5. Give to United Way instead of volunteering yourself, they have a millionaire CEO!
6. Think Obama cured racism.
7. Believe in global warming.
8. Don't believe in global warming.
9. Grown man and Taylor Swift is your shit behind close doors.
10. Have a tennis fantasy league.
11. Wear skinny jeans and you're over 30.
12. Think the electoral college works.
13. Have a sticker on your back car window of 13.2 mi.
14. Have a sticker on your back car window of 26.2 mi.
15. Have a sticker on your back car window of 100 mi.
16. Have a sticker on your back car window of any mileage but it was already on the car when you bought it.
17. Think Game of Thrones was based on a true story.
18. Watch Walking Dead and think it's better than Breaking Bad.
19. Only watched the last episode of Breaking Bad and then had to watch the whole series.
20. Never heard a studio audience.
21. Vegans.
22. Eat fast food for every meal.
23. Think terroist are anybody with a beard and dark skin.
24. Use all the toilet paper and don't replace roll.
25. Ever watched CNN and totally agreed with everything.
26. Ever watched Fox News and totally agreed with everything.
27. Hate Jesus.
28. Hate Jews.
29. Hate kids.
30. Think you don't want kids because watching your nephew is the same.
31. Talk about things you've only read about like you've experienced them in life.
32. Think the government is out to get you.
33. Yell at people with your windows rolled up in shitty traffic.
34. Gave middle finger to someone in traffic and noticed they had a child in back seat.
35. Driven your friends to a gig with hopes of a guest spot.
36. Leave the light on to scare roaches away.
37. Taken advantage of a homeless person because they needed a place to stay.
38. Touch kids.
39. Realize life is empty.
40. Eat pizza for breakfast.
41. Laughed at Steve Harvey's comedy.
42. Read this blog. (obviously)
The hard part about this form of shit is stopping.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
I Got Robbed
Call her Bella. A green eyed, black kitten that we found at a grocery store parking lot a few years ago. My wife (at the time) decided to keep this rodent till, fast forward, moving into a new place and a pet deposit is out of the question. So she gives Bella to my in-laws. Needless to say Bella died within 6 months. Before Bella died she had kittens, so her legacy will live on, yada yada, sad but purposful life or whatever.
The next part of this story is second hand considering I was working or being "selfish" telling jokes at the time of the incident.
-Fast forward a couple of weeks after Bella dies. My four year old daughter visiting with her grandparents with her Momma on a Sunday, starts asking "Where's Bella?" My stupid brother-in-law opens his big mouth and starts in with, "Bella died and went to heaven." Of course that's not the end of it. Apparently from what my innocent baby girl recalled when I picked her from school the next day, "Bella is in heaven with the love of Jesus and God and she lives in a big mansion." And when she (my innocent baby girl) dies, "she's going to heaven to see Bella's mansion."-
The words choked me up when I heard this from my bright eyed littled girl. That idiot brother in-law robbed me of a moment with my little girl. Word of advice if a kid asks you a question about a subject that might change the way they see the world forever and you didnt help make them directly, tell them to ask their parents instead of taking it upon yourself to plant seeds of "wisdom" on your own. Of course that wasn't the end of it....
"Daddy what's Jesus?" "What's God?" "What's love?" These questions were pouring out of her face faster than the time she caught a stomach virus from school. She needed these questions answered as we made our way to happy hour (Sonic, relax.) I told her to lets get a drink first and I would tell her the answers to her questions. I figured I'd buy some time and maybe her attention span would help me out and she'd forget the whole subject.
We pulled into Sonic and ordered, "I'll take a strawberry banana shake and the lady will have a small banana cream shake, extra cherries please." My baby girl said, "While we wait daddy, can you tell me what God is?"
-DAMMIT ! (on the inside)
Listen, I'm not a believer or non-believer, I just don't know.
I lead in by saying, "God is different for everybody and not everybody believes in the same god or even that there is a god, which is ok. Daddy believes in God, but not how uncle Roland believes in God. To Daddy, God is a feeling you get when you connect to other people. When you talk to them or play with them on the swings. God is a feeling that you have when you are doing something you love or around people you love." She said, "What's love?"
"Love is a feeling you get when you're doing something that makes you happy or around people you care about and enjoy. There are different levels of love. Like, you love Spiderman but you love Mommy more right?" She said, "Yea, I love Mommy and I love Spiderman." I continued, "But if Spiderman was having a birthday party and Mommy was having a birthday party, which one would you go to?" Her little finger tapped her chin and she said, "Mommy and Spiderman have the same birthday?" After a long sigh I said, "Yes, now which one would you go to?"
"We should go to both, we could have one big party and Spiderman could come to Mommy's house and we could go to Chuck E. Cheese."
-DAMMIT! (out loud)
The next part of this story is second hand considering I was working or being "selfish" telling jokes at the time of the incident.
-Fast forward a couple of weeks after Bella dies. My four year old daughter visiting with her grandparents with her Momma on a Sunday, starts asking "Where's Bella?" My stupid brother-in-law opens his big mouth and starts in with, "Bella died and went to heaven." Of course that's not the end of it. Apparently from what my innocent baby girl recalled when I picked her from school the next day, "Bella is in heaven with the love of Jesus and God and she lives in a big mansion." And when she (my innocent baby girl) dies, "she's going to heaven to see Bella's mansion."-
The words choked me up when I heard this from my bright eyed littled girl. That idiot brother in-law robbed me of a moment with my little girl. Word of advice if a kid asks you a question about a subject that might change the way they see the world forever and you didnt help make them directly, tell them to ask their parents instead of taking it upon yourself to plant seeds of "wisdom" on your own. Of course that wasn't the end of it....
"Daddy what's Jesus?" "What's God?" "What's love?" These questions were pouring out of her face faster than the time she caught a stomach virus from school. She needed these questions answered as we made our way to happy hour (Sonic, relax.) I told her to lets get a drink first and I would tell her the answers to her questions. I figured I'd buy some time and maybe her attention span would help me out and she'd forget the whole subject.
We pulled into Sonic and ordered, "I'll take a strawberry banana shake and the lady will have a small banana cream shake, extra cherries please." My baby girl said, "While we wait daddy, can you tell me what God is?"
-DAMMIT ! (on the inside)
Listen, I'm not a believer or non-believer, I just don't know.
I lead in by saying, "God is different for everybody and not everybody believes in the same god or even that there is a god, which is ok. Daddy believes in God, but not how uncle Roland believes in God. To Daddy, God is a feeling you get when you connect to other people. When you talk to them or play with them on the swings. God is a feeling that you have when you are doing something you love or around people you love." She said, "What's love?"
"Love is a feeling you get when you're doing something that makes you happy or around people you care about and enjoy. There are different levels of love. Like, you love Spiderman but you love Mommy more right?" She said, "Yea, I love Mommy and I love Spiderman." I continued, "But if Spiderman was having a birthday party and Mommy was having a birthday party, which one would you go to?" Her little finger tapped her chin and she said, "Mommy and Spiderman have the same birthday?" After a long sigh I said, "Yes, now which one would you go to?"
"We should go to both, we could have one big party and Spiderman could come to Mommy's house and we could go to Chuck E. Cheese."
-DAMMIT! (out loud)
Monday, September 22, 2014
Time Out Already
Yup. It finally happened. The dirty laundry of the NFL is being aired out. Those women beating, child abusing, rapists are finally being acknowledged and justice will be served. Those entitled scumbags are finally having their asses held to the fire and will pay for their crimes against humanity.
Time Out, cant we just wait to see who makes it to the playoffs first before we start destorying people's fantasy teams. Its not like anybody died. So a couple of people got hurt and some kids got beat up, lets just hold off any punishment until the pro-bowl.
Sadly, this is how most of Americans think. The importance of football season in American culture has allowed murderers, drug users, child molesters, jaywalkers and rapists to play this sacred game. Our beloved Michael Irving is in the Hall of Fame for god's sake and he admitly was high on cocaine during every single Cowboys game. This is what we do. Society dictates what's right and wrong when there's millions of dollars at stake. Hell even Rice's new wife is saying how her unconscious behavior was just their way of expressing their love, after all Rice did drag her away instead of just leaving her there. She's not stupid. They both know they messed up chances for a rich life so they got married. That's love people!
Roger Goodell could cry blood and vow to cut his arms off if another NFL player even looks at a kid the wrong way, but honestly all Goodell sounds like is another person trying to keep his job. Another suit, who really could care less about the means just so long as it justifies the end. Now Goodell has to take time out of his day to apologize for other people knocking their wife out and locking kids in cars. You know the level of "give a fuckness" this Goodell has for murder (Ray Lewis) let alone some other black football player beating his fiance, now wife. He has to stoop to the level of apology just to keep his job.
Rice should not be allowed to play football for 2 reasons;
1. for beating his wife.
2. for fucking with a CEO's money.
The only people really upset about this domestic abuse epidemic in the NFL are the same people who watch the 'View'. Outraged "stay at home moms", which contribute next to nothing to society, except taking their little ones to football practice, and men with agendas. Men with agendas exploit terrible situations (9/11, Travon, Raven's season) to sway votes, promote T.V. shows, legalize or keep illegal certain marriages.
Real people only care what they care about. So send these assholes to counseling or ban them. Cut their heads off and make them say America sucks before you do it. Wait that's something else.
Time Out, cant we just wait to see who makes it to the playoffs first before we start destorying people's fantasy teams. Its not like anybody died. So a couple of people got hurt and some kids got beat up, lets just hold off any punishment until the pro-bowl.
Sadly, this is how most of Americans think. The importance of football season in American culture has allowed murderers, drug users, child molesters, jaywalkers and rapists to play this sacred game. Our beloved Michael Irving is in the Hall of Fame for god's sake and he admitly was high on cocaine during every single Cowboys game. This is what we do. Society dictates what's right and wrong when there's millions of dollars at stake. Hell even Rice's new wife is saying how her unconscious behavior was just their way of expressing their love, after all Rice did drag her away instead of just leaving her there. She's not stupid. They both know they messed up chances for a rich life so they got married. That's love people!
Roger Goodell could cry blood and vow to cut his arms off if another NFL player even looks at a kid the wrong way, but honestly all Goodell sounds like is another person trying to keep his job. Another suit, who really could care less about the means just so long as it justifies the end. Now Goodell has to take time out of his day to apologize for other people knocking their wife out and locking kids in cars. You know the level of "give a fuckness" this Goodell has for murder (Ray Lewis) let alone some other black football player beating his fiance, now wife. He has to stoop to the level of apology just to keep his job.
Rice should not be allowed to play football for 2 reasons;
1. for beating his wife.
2. for fucking with a CEO's money.
The only people really upset about this domestic abuse epidemic in the NFL are the same people who watch the 'View'. Outraged "stay at home moms", which contribute next to nothing to society, except taking their little ones to football practice, and men with agendas. Men with agendas exploit terrible situations (9/11, Travon, Raven's season) to sway votes, promote T.V. shows, legalize or keep illegal certain marriages.
Real people only care what they care about. So send these assholes to counseling or ban them. Cut their heads off and make them say America sucks before you do it. Wait that's something else.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Sit Down Stupid
There's a difference between speaking passionately and speaking from an emotional stand point and the difference is intelligence. A lot of people can't tell the difference. So many stand up and support ridiculous causes when sometimes they need to be told, "Sit down, Stupid."
Obviously we all agree "dumb" people are neccessary in society. "Dumb" people make the world go 'round while "smart" people fight for power. All the people in between these two brackets get shafted and this is how the world has worked since the beginning. The trick "smart" people use to control the masses is acting passionate with fake emotions.
Emotions are instinctual and very easy to manipulate. People will validate your emotion if you have the same feeling even if you are a psycho. "Smart" people use this tool when they need you to get in line or perform insane acts, that normally, people would never do. "Dumb" people are motivated by emotion instead of rhyme and reason.
The "smart" person starts by making a suggestion and clearly has an agenda. The idea could be immoral and illegal and whatever else but if you add an emotion to the equation like empathy, sympathy, patriotism, "caring about the people who dont have a voice" phrases or any other bullshit notion, what they just did was create an emotion. From everyday people telling you how bad a person is in order to gain some sort of control to major organizations asking you to support their CEOs salary in the name of caring for others. "Smart" people give "dumb" people emotions. I would love to give names of organizations but "dumb" people would say I am insensitive and have no heart while they give away their money and good will for nonsense so I'll just break down the psychosis.
A "Smart" person will try to confuse you and wear a disguise of a passionate person. But you see, truly passionate people stir emotions rather than create. The passionate people bring up logic and fight half thought ideas with maturity. The passionate person whether dumb or smart has a purpose of righteousness that is not self serving. These people get into -so called- trouble a lot though depending on how they approach a situation. Each situation is different. Some approach with this "car accident" approach to shock you into remission of logical thought while others act as a guide. Sometimes a little bit of both is used and the person is brought down from emotional heights, back down to earth. They get in trouble by the "dumb" person re-establishing the argument of emotion which was originally seeded by the "smart" person. The ability to have something not feel right rather than realizing what's right is a powerful "dumb" habit that people should break.
Listen, everybody condemns a "rebel without a cause" but nobody confronts the "Rosa Parks without a cause" when they get on their emotional soap box and I think it's important we treat all horseshit that "dumb smart" people throw at us the same. So like my good friend Jay Whitecotton said to Brigitt Nielsen's stunt double, "Sit down, stupid."
Bam black history reference sucka
WWW.GACOMIC.COM
Obviously we all agree "dumb" people are neccessary in society. "Dumb" people make the world go 'round while "smart" people fight for power. All the people in between these two brackets get shafted and this is how the world has worked since the beginning. The trick "smart" people use to control the masses is acting passionate with fake emotions.
Emotions are instinctual and very easy to manipulate. People will validate your emotion if you have the same feeling even if you are a psycho. "Smart" people use this tool when they need you to get in line or perform insane acts, that normally, people would never do. "Dumb" people are motivated by emotion instead of rhyme and reason.
The "smart" person starts by making a suggestion and clearly has an agenda. The idea could be immoral and illegal and whatever else but if you add an emotion to the equation like empathy, sympathy, patriotism, "caring about the people who dont have a voice" phrases or any other bullshit notion, what they just did was create an emotion. From everyday people telling you how bad a person is in order to gain some sort of control to major organizations asking you to support their CEOs salary in the name of caring for others. "Smart" people give "dumb" people emotions. I would love to give names of organizations but "dumb" people would say I am insensitive and have no heart while they give away their money and good will for nonsense so I'll just break down the psychosis.
A "Smart" person will try to confuse you and wear a disguise of a passionate person. But you see, truly passionate people stir emotions rather than create. The passionate people bring up logic and fight half thought ideas with maturity. The passionate person whether dumb or smart has a purpose of righteousness that is not self serving. These people get into -so called- trouble a lot though depending on how they approach a situation. Each situation is different. Some approach with this "car accident" approach to shock you into remission of logical thought while others act as a guide. Sometimes a little bit of both is used and the person is brought down from emotional heights, back down to earth. They get in trouble by the "dumb" person re-establishing the argument of emotion which was originally seeded by the "smart" person. The ability to have something not feel right rather than realizing what's right is a powerful "dumb" habit that people should break.
Listen, everybody condemns a "rebel without a cause" but nobody confronts the "Rosa Parks without a cause" when they get on their emotional soap box and I think it's important we treat all horseshit that "dumb smart" people throw at us the same. So like my good friend Jay Whitecotton said to Brigitt Nielsen's stunt double, "Sit down, stupid."
Bam black history reference sucka
WWW.GACOMIC.COM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)